franceslcp's Xanga

two songs to reflect upon..

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:44:59 GMT

Maker of this heart of mine
You know me very well
You understand my deepest part
More than I know myself
So when I face the darkness
When I need to find my way
I'll trust in You
Shepherd of my heart

Keeper of this heart of mine
Your patience has no end
You've loved me back into Your arms
Time and time again
So if I start to wander
Like a lamb that's gone astray
I'll trust in You
Shepherd of my heart

You're the beacon of my nights
You're the sunlight of my days
I can rest within Your arms
I can know Your loving ways
So let the cold winds blow
Let the storms rage all around
I'll trust in You
Shepherd of my heart

Giver of this life in me
You're what I'm living for
For all my deepest gratitude
You love me even more
So as I walk through valleys
Listening for the Master's call
I'll trust in you
Shepherd of my heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This world of human heartache
Hurt all around
Who's gonna care for the broken ones?
They sail a sea of sadness
Sometimes alone
Where the wind and the waves overcome
They need a place where they can come in from the danger
Find a little shelter
Rest secure and warm

Chorus:
They need a safe, safe harbour
Haven in the mist of the storm
Where there's freedom to conquer
The questions and problems
And fears are lost in love
There's assurance and healing and blessed believing
When they find the Lord is always enough
In a safe, safe harbour
Safe, safe harbour

It seems the hardest struggle for any man
Is facing the darkness inside of him
But give them sanctuary, filled up with love
Where the light of God's truth shines within
They'll know a place where they can come out of the darness
They'll find the grace of Jesus
In the refuge of His arms

a retreat to reflect and recuperate

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:09:20 GMT

FINALLY.

EeLing, Wei Chiew and I finally got to have a short holiday together. we've been planning a getaway for so long, but it never materialized till now.

Saturday (21/11/09)
we went to Genting Highlands (thanks WeiChiew for driving!), stayed at Highland Hotel (thanks EeLing and dad for booking the room). err.. and i brought loads of junkfood which nobody ate. cis!

we had an awesome room. looked around the plaza for potential things to do/places to go for dinner. then we went out into the open. waiting for snow. hahaha.. it WAS actually quite cold. realized that none of us brought cameras, so we experimented on our handphones. not bad.

went back to our room to NAP (heavenly). had dinner, then we went out once again, still hoping for snow to blanket the floor. took more pictures. decided that we didn't want to die of pneumonia, so we went to the arcade for a little while before heading back to our room to freshen up, watch tv (Toy Story 2. hahaha) and ate somemore (mini junkfood and fruits). read the bible and slept.

Sunday (22/11/09)
started our day worshipping our Lord God Almighty with songs. (we didn't really organize this, so we forgot about guitars and songbooks). then we read the book of Jonah and did some sharing and reflection on this past year. then we prayed for one another.

packed up and left at about 1pm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reflection:
this year has been rather trying. some of you know what i've been struggling with.. and i know the Lord has been teaching me patience and to depend fully on Him.

and one question that i've been thinking about is: have i made a positive impact in my life/other people's life this year? have i grown spiritually?

i guess i'm just tired from all the activities that i've been involved in. its time to step back and surrender everything to Him, and to rely on His strength, not mine.

i'm so thankful for His Grace and Providence so that i can study my masters next year. as i reflect more, i realize i need to balance what i want (my rights), and what is right before God's eyes.

anyway, coming back down to KL was quite saddening, honestly. we had to leave the nice cold weather, and come back to reality. it was actually quite refreshing to get away from the distractions of city life/work and just recuperate and enjoy each other's company. leaving Genting, we knew we were coming back to our hectic lifestyle.

we've sorta agreed that this should be an annual retreat. for us to spend quality time with each other and with God.

i thank God for this privilege to out with them, and i know we all wished that the retreat could have been longer. but whatever it is.. God is Good.

LOVE YOU GUYS, EELING AND WEICHIEW!!

The Lord is my Shepherd... i shall not want. (Psalms 23)

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:13:47 GMT

Well, my masters’ interview is over. But thankfully, my life isn’t. =)

I think I did relatively ok. I know I’ve been fretting and worrying about the whole interview for some time, because I really want to be in this program – clinical psychology. Studied like mad for it, and I know I have a lot to offer to this program. But I guess, sometimes, we can never prepare ourselves for what is to come, but to just believe that everything is in God’s Hands.

I know I did my best. In fact, I tried too hard (during my role play). I know I a more client-centered person (humanistic therapy) but it just didn’t happen that day. What upset me was that I KNEW what issues to explore, but I just couldn’t get the “client” to talk about it. I’ll be honest and say it was a major disappointment, coz its ironic that I could have done better, but I actually gave my best.. it just turned out wrong.

Anyway, i’m beginning to heal from this experience. Slowly, but surely. I’ve also prayed and reflected about this whole experience.. and I realize that I can learn lessons from this trying time. If everything was smooth-flowing during the interview.. I wouldn’t be down on my knees now, learning to humble myself to the Lord. I wouldn’t be reminded that my God is a Sovereign God and He knows all things. And what brings me comfort is knowing that He has my best interest in heart. So yeah.. I don’t know if I’ll get into the program, but if God wants me to be in it, I will be in it. If He decides to “close” this “door”, I know it’ll hurt.. but I truly believe the Lord will open other doors for me. I am relearning what it is like to have God’s Joy as my strength. I am learning to surrender, to submit my all to Him. Knowing that all things come together for good, because I love Him and I am called according to His Purpose. I will continue to be faithful to Him.

I really appreciate all the prayers, support and encouragement given to me by my dear friends and my lecturers/referees. I am very touched by your faith in me that I can be a competent clinical psychologist. I am truly blessed.

*As I was about to post this, something “disturbing” (to me) popped up. Its just one of those old issues that I’ve never really finished resolving. It hurts to remember it, and I honestly still wonder “why”. But then this prayer came to mind:

O God and Heavenly Father,

Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Mis-adventures of Ally & Franky

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:02:15 GMT

Ever wondered if you would have stories to tell your children/grandchildren about your “adventures”? Well, I’ve got one here.. a pretty hilarious MISadventure, actually.. but it’s a good way of explaining to the (possibly horrified) kids that senility and a bad sense of direction are hereditary. *chuckles*

… now.. what was I talking about? Hahaha.. kidding... I think..?

So here's the story:

One fine Friday night, two friends (Ally and Franky) aka proud self-proclaimed aunties decided to visit a friend who had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy a few days ago. Unfortunately for both of them, they were clueless when it came to directions. In total, they got lost THREE times.

1^st time:

Ally couldn’t find Franky’s house (and that was due to Franky’s horrible directions). But finally, fate had it that they would meet halfway as Frances decided to get out of her and walk towards where she thought Ally’s car would be.

2^nd time:

Ally and Franky got lost trying to locate Gleneagles Hospital. Franky was given unclear/wrong directions and they ended up being at the opposite side of the road. Finally, the duo got better directions from a kind stranger at a petrol kiosk, and off they went to search for the illusive hospital. (tip for Ally: follow your own gut feeling. don't trust Franky's "sense" of direction)

3^rd time:

When they finally reached the hospital, they knew they had to head up to the 3^rd floor – maternity ward. But of course, the “directionless” gene had to kick in. They ventured aimlessly around looking for their friend. A kind nurse then explained that they were in the wrong ward while the overhead speaker greeted them with something along the lines of “Dear visitors, visiting hours are now over… blah blah blah”. But did they heed that announcement? Of course not, thanks to senility.

Finally, they found their dear friend’s room. Only having to wait a little longer as the baby was having some bonding time with his mother...

To cut the story short.. We got to see Danya and her precious little baby boy. And we’re so thrilled to see that both mother and baby are doing well =) Congrats!

~Stay tuned for more misadventures of Ally & Franky, either that.. or more reports of senility or lack of geographical knowledge.

HAVE A NICE DAY

BBGS GIRLS OUT THERE. PLEASE READ.

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:47:26 GMT

I'm just going to be as straightforward and succinct as possible.

Today, quite a few of us old girls of BBGS came together for a meeting. We're making plans to revive our Old Girls' Association, and we're planning to come up with a Fund. Also, we're trying to place some memories of BBGS back into Pavilion.

We would like people to know/remember that this shopping mall used to be our beloved Alma Mater. And we've learned so much during our time there, we would like to pass on our legacy.

So, we'll be having a Fund launching on August 4th (its a Tuesday), with Ms. Cooke as the honored guest. Ms Yeap will be our honored guest during the night event. The launch will be held late morning, because we have to adapt to Ms Cooke's schedule. however, this is going to be pretty much a whole day event.

All this will be happening at the Concourse. We'll be selling BBGS souvenirs, we're trying to have an exhibition of everything BBGS, photos of the school will be shown, we've got an ex-bb girl who bakes, and she baked these GLORIOUS limited edition BBGS (with the school logo on top) cupcakes. and that would be sold on that day.

we'll be singing our School song in the Concourse, which means EVERYONE will feel our presence.

There'll be a small luncheon, and also a dinner. i'll let you guys know more about that once i get more information. coz we're at the planning stage right now.

What i'm writing about right now is really about CHORAL SPEAKING. we're hoping that old BB girls will step forward to do choral speaking again and we'll be performing during the Launch. think about it, we've always done choral speaking in our classes, with our classmates.. this time, we're going to do it with our seniors/juniors! how fabulous is that!

I've already gotten a conductress. She's from the class of '79. and we're thinking of doing the poem "The Sounds of London Town", and maybe do a little adaptation to it.

now i need BB girls to be part of this fabulous project. Our first meeting/practice for choral speaking will be held really soon. here are the details:

Date: 27th June, 2009 (Saturday)
Venue: Platinum Room, Pavilion
Time: 11.00am

If you're interested in being part of this Choral Speaking Team, PLEASE EMAIL ME NOW (we've only got about a month plus before the launch). please give me your email address and contact number. and i'll give you my contact number and we'll work things out. Let's make this happen!

my email is: franceslcp@gmail.com

BBGS, we pledge to Thee..
NISI DOMINUS FRUSTRA

reflect, review, respond

Sun, 10 May 2009 15:17:55 GMT

well.. its nearing the middle of the year.. its already May.. and there are still lots of decisions, important ones, that i have to make.

just recently, i attended a Youth Missions' Conference. it was part of the PITH (Partners In the Harvest) conference. i felt personally challenged by the message of Andrew Cowell. he didn't speak specifically on Mission work, but he explained that reason why people are not interested in serving/doing missions is because they're too self-centered, whereby they're only doing things that they want and not focusing on God's Will.

the title of the message was, "Don't Waste Your Life". he reminded us not to focus on earthly things that will fade away, but to work towards something important, to leave a legacy behind, to be a faithful servant to the Lord and help expand the Kingdom of God.

i have placed a lot of thought to be involved with missions.. but i have to admit, i've not put in alot of effort to participate in short mission trips. i really should. right now, i think i'm at the stage whereby i'm trying to equip myself. i was talking to my mom about what i can do. and i want to equip myself even more so i'd have a useful profession while i'm in the mission field.

i'm praying that the Lord will help me as i try to seek His Will.

short shift of routine

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 07:14:41 GMT

so.. its been ages since i did something out of my routine..

but thanks to MingFoong, we went to Gasing Hill yesterday.. *pants*wheeze*. hahaha.. kidding.. i WAS panting.. but i didn't have an asthma attack, nor did i die there. it was pretty refreshing la. i have no idea if i've ever been there before.. but its just nice to get out of my normal routine, commune with nature.. and hang out with MingFoong.

i'm actually quite proud of myself.. *pats myself on the back*. didn't expect to last.. and i thought my knees would give way.. well, at times they nearly did.. but i guess with me chanting, "mental strength.. mental strength..*, helped quite a bit. hahahaha.. and i was back to sweating niagara falls. my entire hanky was soaked. my shirt was drenched and i looked as though i pee-ed in my pants. thankfully, i remember always to carry a towel with me, so i didn't dirty MF's carseat. but over lunch (mamak - banana leaf! mmmmm..), MF said i look much better than i usually do when we meet.. hahaha.. i guess coz whenever we meet, its after a hard day's work.. and i know i look like a zombie.

anyway.. on our way back to her place.. MF saw a certain familiar car.. and she said, "HEY!! THATS EE LING!!!".. so she sped closer to the car.. once we were behind it, she started honking, while i waved like a nutcase. then when we realized that the driver of the car wasn't really giving a response we had hoped (eg. wave back excitedly), we got a little worried. coz the person was looking through the rear mirror, looking rather confused and worried herself.. then realization struck us, "COULD THAT BE HER MOTHER???". aiyoyo.. dunno where to hide our faces. so embarrassing, but it was super funny. then i get an sms later in the evening, when ee ling told me that her mom mentioned that two girls were waving away at her.. and ee ling guessed it was mingfoong and i. hahahhaa..

now we're thinking of going Broga Hill (in Semenyih). from the pictures that MingFoong googled, the place looks gorgeous. she says it reminds her of the hills of the Sound of Music. hehehehe.. lets go!!!

now what?

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:39:15 GMT

i want to go back to my undergraduate years. things were "fun-ner" then.

i've got so many thoughts in my head right now, i don't even know what i'm going to ramble about. recently, i've been listening to Hillsong's "None but Jesus" very regularly.. i know the Lord is trying to comfort me, but i can't feel it at times.

i need a holiday. a time off. i need some time with God, and some time with myself to process stuff..

curious case of...

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 16:56:00 GMT

mine.

as cliched as this title goes.. well.. i don't care la. i've not watched the movie, but i know its about a strange fellow who was born as an 80year old, aged backwards and died as a baby. How he got out of his mother's womb, being an 80 year old.. i don't know. guess i'll find out when/if i watch the movie.

anyway.. my life is the opposite. come to think of it.. its not so weird/curious anyway.. i'm aging a whole lot faster than my age. i'm not even a quarter of a century (yet) and my joints are creaking, my muscles ache, my sight and memory is failing me, and i'm not even sure if i have thyroid (coz i've not taken any blood tests yet), though its a high probability since its in the genes.

and recently, i've lost my voice.. sometimes i'm barely letting out a whisper. was feeling really uneasy one night, and then i threw up (acid reflux) which caused my throat to be "burnt". hence the "sexy" voice. and i'm still working. how i managed to teach the whole time, especially phonics, i don't know. but its really the grace of God bringing through all this.

so i've been praying for strength.. and patience. i know i've been preeety stressed.. so i'm trying to take deeper breathes, reminding myself to stay calm, and to be slow to anger.

I am reminded of 1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

while i was working on my lesson plans, there were three songs that i heard on my mp3, that i had to stop my work and just meditate, give thanks and worship the Lord. they were "Come, Now is the Time to Worship", "None but Jesus" and "In Christ Alone". i thought i'd just share the lyrics with you. these songs were a great comfort to me.. knowing that Christ, out of tremendous love for all of us, has died for my sins (and yours too). What's more. He is always with me, guiding me and teaching me to live a life which would be pleasing to Him. and i have the privilege to love Him, worship Him and serve Him.

Come, Now is the Time to Worship
Come, now is the time to worship
Come, now is the time to give your heart
Come, just as you are to worship
Come, just as you are before your God
Come

One day every tongue will confess You are God
One day every knee will bow
Still the greatest treasure remains for those who gladly choose You now

None But Jesus
In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

In Christ Alone
In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand

living in... limbo

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:41:04 GMT

its kinda funny how my name means "living in freedom".. but right now, i feel like i'm living in limbo. there are tough decisions to make. work to do pretty much everywhere. dilemmas to resolve. behaviours and perspectives to change/improve. its honestly... draining.

its hard to seek a listening ear cause everyone's working/busy/stressed. and its awfully lonely at times. i've been praying a whole lot for guidance/answers/wisdom.. right now, i feel He's teaching me to wait and to persevere while i seek His Will for me.

i think i need a good night's rest.